What is a spirit spouse?
This post contains mature content and is not intended to be read in front of children.
I am a spouse so obviously that means I have a spouse. We are legal partners in marriage, that’s what a spouse means. We laugh together, bicker together, share key life experiences together, juggle parenting together. The most important thing is that we love each other and we chose each other to be husband and wife. Did you know that there are people that say they had or have a spouse that they didn’t choose… and no I’m not talking about an arranged marriage. I’m talking about spirit spouses.
Spirit spouses are ungodly spirits aka demons who pray on their victims through sexual encounters while their victim is dreaming. They “legally” attach to people through the spiritual realm (more on that later), hence the name spirit spouse. Deliverance minister, Vlad Savchuk, says these demons can also “impregnate” their victims with spiritual perversion and confusion. He also says “some dreams can be more violent in nature, so much so that people can wake up with an orgasm, feeling physically violated, raped, tortured, tormented, and even emotionally drained from these encounters”.
Demons linked to spirit spouses
The demons linked to spirit spouses are called night demons and there are references to them in the Bible:
Succubus/Lilith:
According to the Christian website Got Questions, the word succubus is an old Latin word that means “to lie under”. The prophet Isaiah mentions a “night creature” and describes her as female. You’ll see the phrase “night creature” in the NKJV, NIV and NLT versions of the Bible. In the Hebrew version of this verse the word “Liyliyth” is used. The English version of this word is "Lilith". This word translates as “night creature”, “night monster” and “night demon”.
“The creatures of the desert will encounter jackals And the hairy goat will call to its kind; Indeed, Lilith (night demon) will settle there And find herself a place of rest” - Isaiah 34:14 (AMP)
Dead sea scrolls are a collection of really old Jewish manuscripts that were found by a young shepherd boy in a cave in 1947. The documents found date from between 300 years before Christ was born and 68 years after Christ died and was resurrected. The collection contained every book in the Hebrew bible, except for the Book of Esther and other Jewish poems.
One of the poems found amongst the Dead Sea scrolls was a poem called The Seductress. This poem describes an “evil being” who has a multitude of sins in her skirts and she lives in the midst of the night. This being tempts men and drags them to the pit. The Book of Proverbs, in the Bible, talks about a similar woman. The Bible warns that this strange seductress will slowly lead you to death and all who go to her can’t come back from the spirits of the dead. The Bible says the penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23).
“Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return or attain the paths of life” - Proverbs 2:18-19
According to Got Questions, Succubus/Lilith is a demon who takes the form of a woman who sexually tempts people at night, with the aim of having sexual intercourse in the person’s dreams. It is said that this demon also tries to kill babies when they are born.
Lilith is popular and worshipped within Wicca and occult circles. Doreen Valiente, who was a witch within Wicca and an author, said Lilith is a moon goddess and patroness of witches. In his book, Raymond Buckland, who was a high priest in Wicca also said Lilith is a dark moon goddess. He said Lilith is on par with the Hindu goddess Kali.
Satanists believe that Lilith is married to Satan.
Incubus
Incubus means “nightmare” and is the male version of a succubus. Medieval folklore says that this demon is capable of having half-human children with women. The Bible, which is much older than medieval times and their folklore, talks about spirits (fallen angels) who were sent down to earth and having children with human women. These children were half-human and called nephilim and they grew to be violent giants. The nephilim are part of the reason why God told Noah to build the ark and then sent the flood. The world had become too evil and God wanted a reset.
The nephilim were killed in the flood. Their human side was killed, but remember they were half evil spirit and spirits can’t die. So the question is where did the spiritual half of the nephilim go? Could their spirits still be roaming around violating people in the spiritual realm, like their fallen angel fathers did?
Asmodeus
Asmodeus is known as a king of demons. Asmodeus is mentioned in the Book of Tobit.
The Book of Tobit is in the Ethiopian Bible, the Catholic Bible and the Eastern Orthodox Bible. In the Protestant Bible (the Bible that has 66 books in it) Matthew, Luke and John cite or use themes from Tobit. Protestant Christianity (Pentecostal, Methodist, Anglican (CofE), Baptist, Evangelical, Non-denomination etc) class the Book of Tobit as Apocrypha, which means we think it’s useful for teaching but not important enough to be included in the Bible.
In the Book of Tobit, there was a woman called Sarah. Sarah gets married seven times to seven different men. Asmodeus, who is described as an evil spirit, kills each of her husbands on their wedding night before they had a chance to have sex with Sarah and consummate the marriage. The Book of Tobit says Asmodeus was in love with Sarah. There was a man called Tobias who was going to marry Sarah and become her eighth husband. Asmodeus found out about this and decided to kill Tobias too. However, Tobias had the help of angel Raphael. Angel Raphael’s plan worked and Asmodeus fled to Egypt where angel Raphael then bound him.
The Dead Sea scrolls describe Asmodeus as a demon.
In Matthew 22:23-30, the Sadducees give a scenario of a woman who marries seven times and all her husbands die. They asked Jesus who will be her husband when all are resurrected because they were all once married to her. The Sadducees scenario closely mirrors Sarah’s life in the Book of Tobit because of the actions of a demon. Jesus answered them by saying that no one will be married at the resurrection because we will all be like the angels in heaven.
“Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh” - Matthew 22:25-26
What happens when you have a spirit spouse?
Deliverance minister, Vlad Savchuk, explains that the more sexual encounters they inflict through their victims' dreams, the more they can attach themselves to the person. Here are some of the things that Savchuk says a person dealing with a spirit spouse can experience:
Battle with consistent wet dreams or dream induced orgasms.
Feeling overpowered by an addiction to pornography or lust and other perversions.
Inability to get married or marriages ending in divorce.
No affection or sexual drive for their human spouse.
How do you attract a spirit spouse?
You know the saying misery loves company, well the same could be said for sin. Sin also loves company and the company is demons. Deliverance ministers say sinful actions, whether it’s self inflicted or through the actions of another sinful person, i.e. abuse, can open spiritual doors to our souls, that can allow demons to enter and wreak havoc in our lives.
The spiritual realm is full of rules and laws. Which is why God the Father brought laws to Earth until Jesus came and fulfilled all of them for us. Satan hates God but knows that he has to follow God's rules and laws. Satan knows that he and his demons can’t forcibly access someone. They need legal access from the spiritual realm to allow them to enter. As humans we unknowingly and sometimes knowingly give these ungodly spirits legal access to us.
Savchuk says the following ways can attract a spirit spouse:
Witchcraft: Especially spells, incantations, potions and offerings to ancestors that are used on you, by someone else, because they want to gain your love and attraction. These can create an open spiritual door for the spiritual spouse to get to you.
Sexual sins: Savchuk says sexual sin is one of the most common ways the door is opened for a spiritual spouse to attach itself to you at night. In the Bible, Jesus calls sexual immortality a sin. Sexual immortality is anything from sex outside of marriage, viewing porn to having an affair. Basically anything consensual that is outside of marriage as described in Genesis 2:24.
Now it’s important for me to note here that if you have had sex outside of marriage and you have repented to God the Father, through Jesus Christ, for this AND you have stopped doing it. Then those previous acts wouldn’t continue to open a spiritual door in you to ungodly spirits. This is because the Father has wiped that sin away from his books, which are mentioned in Revelation 20:12. This is because you have said you will turn away from that behaviour and stop doing it. However if you continue to have sex outside of marriage, even if it’s with the same person, then that spiritual door stays wide open, no matter how many times you “repent” about it.
“And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books” - Revelation 20:12
Spirit spouses in your bloodline: Spirit husbands and spirit wives can attach themselves to your bloodline. As a result, this spirit attacks generation after generation with the symptoms mentioned above. Savchuk says this happens when one of your ancestors was involved in witchcraft, sexual perversion, sexual abuse including rape or human sacrifice.
Sexual abuse: Even though the innocent victim isn’t sexually perverted and certainly hasn’t done anything wrong. The horrific act by their evil abuser allows demons to enter spiritual doors by association. Therefore these evil spirits attach themselves to the victim because of the actions of their abuser. It’s totally unfair and not justified but demons don’t care about being “fair” or “just”, only God is just. Therefore evil spirits will use anyone they have access to, including someone’s abuser, to gain access to the victim.
Soul ties: When we are intimate with someone that we have an initial attraction to, we develop a soul tie. When I say intimate, this can be in the obvious physical way but it can also be emotional intimacy when we develop an emotional connection with someone we are attracted to. So you develop an intense emotional relationship with them, maybe in the hopes that it will develop into a physical relationship. Sometimes this never happens. However, the soul tie has already developed.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14–15 it warns us to not get into close and binding relationships with people who don’t share the same beliefs as you about God. So ladies in Christ, this means, don’t be fooled by those men that say they believe in “Jesus and…”, whether it’s “Jesus and … the ancestors”, “or Jesus and… the universe”, or “Jesus and… obeah”, or “Jesus and… Juju”, or “Jesus and… Nuwaubianism”, or “Jesus and… crystals”. If you hear this run! There is no "Jesus and…” unless the sentence contains “the Father and the Holy Spirit”.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 also uses a rhetorical question “What accord has Christ with Belial?”. Author John Eckhardt, in his book “Prayers that Break Curses” says “many curses that affect a person’s life come as a result of one of the most wicked and vile spirits in the kingdom of darkness- the spirit of Belial. He is the ruling spirit of wickedness. There is a host of demons that operate under his command”.
Belial is mentioned 27 times in the Old Testament and once in the New Testament. Belial means ungodly, naughty and evil. So the rhetorical question in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 basically this means that Jesus has no harmony or common ground with the demon Belial, so ladies why are you trying to create common ground and build a soul tie with a man who could give Belial and his host of demons access to you, even if he doesn't realise it or he has never heard of Belial.
How to get rid of a spirit spouse
Accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour
The Bible is full of examples of Jesus getting rid of demons from people. When he did this they became totally different people. They went back to the way God originally intended. For some their illnesses went, for others their rage and violence went. Ancient texts say Mary Magdalene, who had seven demons that Jesus removed and became a devoted disciple, was freed from mental pain when Jesus cast out the demons from her.
God the Father has given Jesus authority over all of heaven and earth (Matthew 28:18), which includes demons that roam the earth, looking for their next victim. When Jesus tells a demon to leave a person they have to listen to Him and obey (Mark 1:27, Luke 4:36).
The great news is Jesus has also given this authority to us (Luke 10:18-20), as long as we believe:
He is the Son of God (John 1:1, John 1:14, John 3:16).
He died for all our sins (Isaiah 53:5, John 1:29, 2 Corinthians 5:21).
He rose from the dead and is now in heaven sitting next to God the Father (Luke 24, Mark 16:19).
Jesus is your Lord, saviour and your only access to God the Father (Philippians 2:10-11, John 14:6).
Then we can all be used to cast out demons, as long as we do it in the name of Jesus Christ.
“The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name. He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” - Luke 10-17-20
Confess and repent sins
The next step is confessing and repenting our sins. This isn’t just something only new believers do when they accept Jesus as their Lord and saviour. This is a regular lifelong thing that ALL Christians need to do, in order to keep God’s hedge of projection around us. Repenting is turning away from the sinful behaviour and turning to God and trying not to turn back. This also is the key in keeping the spiritual doors firmly closed to Satan and his demons.
“ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” - 1 John 1:9
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” - Acts 3:19
Renounce the spiritual spouse
According to Cambridge dictionary, renounce means to formally or publicly state that you no longer own, support, believe in, or have a connection to something.
When you walk with Christ, renouncing can be anything from renouncing a former sinful lifestyle, renouncing a lifestyle that you know has brought a demon into your life e.g. witchcraft, to renouncing the religion you were part of before becoming a Christian.
If you’ve read to this point and you think you have a spirit spouse or other ungodly spirit within you, and you have done the above steps. Then renouncing it will give you freedom. All you have to do is pray to God the Father, in Jesus name and tell Him that you are renouncing this spirit spouse from your life.
“Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age” - Titus 2:12
Surrender to Christ
Make a commitment to live a life surrendered to Christ. This means you are in the world but not of the world. You can’t continue to act in ways that society has considered normal but the Bible says goes against God’s wishes. By trying to straddle the fence of believing in Jesus and going to church but using the rest of the week to act in ways that makes you look like an atheist, will only keep your spiritual doors wide open for Satan and his demons to swan in and out of. It’s a big commitment but it’s worth it.
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” - James 4:7
Seek deliverance
If you follow the above steps and find that you are still tormented at night, then look into having deliverance.
It’s important that you have done all of the above, otherwise deliverance won’t work. Jesus tells a story of a man being delivered of a demon but because he hadn’t submitted to God. The demon eventually came back with seven other demons! Jesus said the man was worse than he was before the deliverance (Matthew 12:43–45).
Deliverance is not always rolling around screaming. I got delivered from a demonic spirit by Jesus. I didn’t know the demonic spirit was in me until it appeared to me, shortly after I got saved, to try and get me back by “offering me one last chance”. I thought “one last chance! I didn’t even know you were ever there in the first place to get another chance to get back in!” Again by calling me on the name of Jesus. Jesus saved me and made it leave for good this time in a powerful way that Jesus does this. When this happened there was no rolling around on the floor screaming involved.
Here are some ways to get deliverance:
Start by doing a self deliverance prayer
There is one at the end of this blog post, if you want to use it.
Attend a christian based deliverance course
You can also look into completing a deliverance course, where you are guided through your faith walk and deliverance with a course leader. There are many but one I recommend is called Freedom in Christ. It is a 10 week course which includes a renouncing and deliverance session. I have gone through this course as a participant at church and I now run it for my local community as a course leader. This course is run all over the world, so check if there is one in your local area.
If you go down the course or conference route, please, please, please make sure that you do your research, you shouldn’t be paying hundreds or thousands of pounds for someone to pray over you or to deliver you from ungodly spirits. Jesus did it for free. Yes I understand that venues are expensive to hire and some people charge for Christian events that aim at giving mature Christians further learning materials, outside of the Good News about Jesus, or purely to entertain them with a live band, i.e. a Godly concert. Then the charge involved for that can be justified. However if the event or course is purely to give you the gospel (the Good News) about Jesus, or to pray for you or to do deliverance on you, then that should be free because the gospel, prayer and deliverance are free gifts from God.
Deal with past trauma
It is also very important to be brave and deal with any past trauma by processing it, in a safe way. Processing your trauma is also the route to freedom. This is because Satan relies on trauma as a way to keep us in bondage in the hope that we stay in a mental loop of fear, hate, unforgiveness or using negative activities as coping mechanisms, activities, such as taking drugs, getting drunk, watching porn, having lots of sex outside of marriage. Satan knows all these emotions, which are also spirits, i.e. the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7), and negative activities can open spiritual doors within us and allow in legal access to our souls. Processing our trauma, allows us to heal from it, not forget it but heal from it. This prevents us from opening those spiritual doors to Satan.
Therapy
As someone who has had therapy to process traumatic events, I would recommend finding a trained therapist to help you heal from your trauma, whatever that trauma is. If therapy isn’t an option at the moment due to costs. Then if you are reading this in the UK, then see if you can join the waiting list to get some free sessions through the NHS.
Support groups
An alternative to therapy is finding a support group, for your particular trauma area. This can be a safe space to process events in your life with people who have gone through something similar.
Write it down
You could also make a start in the healing process by writing a letter to God all about the person or people who brought trauma to your life. Tell God exactly what you think of them and how they made you feel then and make you feel now. Don’t hold back, this is your time to be honest with yourself and with God. If you are mad with God about it, then put that in the letter too. There is nothing that would surprise God. He knows all your thoughts anyway so you might as well put it pen to paper. God can handle it.
Once you have written it, then in a private place read the letter out loud to yourself. If the tears flow, let them flow, just make sure you finish reading it out loud. Then put the letter away for a few minutes and once you are feeling calm again, get the letter and then read it out loud again. Then rip up the letter and throw it away. Just by doing this simple activity by yourself is allowing the emotional hurt and pain that is in your mind, body and soul, to have some sort of release by letting it out, on to the page and onto God.
If you are in active trauma, then after you have done the above, you could say a prayer to God the Father, through Jesus Christ, asking Him to protect you during this hard season of your life and to restore your life to what He originally intended for you before sin came and brought trauma into your life.
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later”- Romans 8:18
If you are writing a letter about past trauma then you may want to write a second letter, thanking God for the things He has done in your life, despite the trauma you have faced. You may find this is like comfort food for the soul, allowing your mind to be renewed with the positives of what God has done for you, which in time will outweigh the negatives of your trauma.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will” - Romans 12-2
Self guided deliverance prayer
Once you have completed steps 1-4, if you If you would like to do a self guided deliverance prayer against a spirit spouse, then please feel free to say the one I’ve written below for you. Please say it out loud:
Father God, I come to you in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ, who has the authority to bind and loose ungodly spirits.
In the name of Jesus, I renounce the spirit spouse that has attached itself to me. In the name of Jesus Christ, I bind the spirits of Succubus, Lilith, Incubus and Asmodeus. Through the authority of Jesus Christ, I loose these spirits from me. In Jesus’ name I cast these evil spirits into the abyss.
In Jesus’ name, I loose myself from any ungodly actions, whether caused by me or inflicted on me by someone else, that opened the spiritual door that allowed the spiritual spouse to attach itself to me. The actions I loose myself from are (name your actions).
In Jesus name, I loose myself from any ungodly actions from my ancestors, that caused generational spirit spouses to attach themselves to my bloodline.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I loose myself from any witchcraft that has been placed on me, knowingly or unknowingly. I break the ties of witchcraft over me through the blood of Jesus Christ covering me.
I command in Jesus' name, that the demonic spirits break their strangulation hold on me.
Father God, I ask that you help me wring out unforgiveness from heart from the trauma I have faced that wasn’t my fault.
I announce that my name is now written in the lamb’s book of life.
I accept only the leading of the Holy Spirit.
I trust only the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ to save me.
I announce that only the sacrifice of Christ has any hold on me. I belong to Jesus Christ.
I pray that You, Father God, fill me with Your Holy Spirit that I may be guided by You.
Thank You that in Christ I am forgiven.
I pray this in Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.
